9/11 Conspiracy Theories -- The Latest Popular Political Lie

Written by Doc Farmer
Thursday, August 17, 2006

Y�know, I�m always amazed at the intelligence and adaptability of people. How they can assess a situation, analyze the various components, determine the cause/effect process, and come up with innovative answers and solutions to various circumstances. That�s given us cars, airplanes, sliced bread, plutonium, that �new and improved� Segway two-wheeled scooter thingy, and, of course, Pop Tarts. Yet, at the same time, I have to marvel at how some people can take all those situations, components, processes, etc., and come up with the most moronic theories, assumptions, and SWAG (Scientific Wild-Assed Guess).

Now, sadly, this stupidity seems to have gained full flower. And all from a �study� or poll done a few weeks back, which claims that a full one-third of all Americans (that�s 100 million people) believe that the United States Government was complicit or actively involved in the 9/11 attacks. Granted, they only asked 1010 Americans their opinion, and I�ve complained about the inaccuracy of ''scientific'' polls in the past, but this is just a bit much.

I believe in conspiracies, just in case you�re wondering. I know there was more to JFK�s death than some whacked out ex-jarhead married to a Rooskie. Whenever Dad has to go down to Wright-Patterson AFB to pick up his prescriptions, I always make sure to ask him to �wave at the aliens� who were transported there from Roswell. I know that American Idol is fixed. Therefore, nobody can say that I totally dismiss all conspiracy theories.

However, this one is just so stupid it beggars belief.

Studies have been done to show what happened on 9/11. Hell, an entire (and ill-conceived) Congressional Committee examined the attacks in detail. While biased beyond belief (see also: Gorelick, Jamie, who should have been on the witness stand instead of the committee) it did at least find that America was attacked by outside forces. No credible evidence of any kind of government involvement, complicity or cover-up was ever found. Even so, that has not caused any slow-down in rabid political (and junk-science) discussions. There are even websites dedicated to not only discussing the conspiracy, but also sending out attack teams to hit other discussion forums with their mindless drivel. The ChronWatch Forum was a recent victim to such an influx of the dendritically-challenged over the weekend. They asked stupid questions, they gave stupid answers, they provided no true evidence, and they spent most of their time being jerks.

In other words, your standard lib/dem/soc/commie profile.

The so-called �left� has been working since day one (in this case, 20 January 2001) to find a way to get rid of its arch-nemesis, the evil Dubya. When 9/11 happened, lib/dem/soc/commies (very) briefly pretended to be patriotic. Well, they tried, anyway. Lasted about two weeks, and then their attacks began. Ever since then, they�ve talked out of both sides of their mouths (as well as a few other orifices) about how everything that happens is Dubya�s fault. Global Warming, no, Global Cooling, no, Global Climate Change, yeah, that�s the ticket. High unemployment is Dubya�s fault, even though we�re at historically LOW levels. The economy is tanking, even though it�s in the best shape it has been in years. Every single charge the lib/dem/soc/commies make is found to be bogus. Even their �evidence� is manufactured (see also: Rather, Dan).

So, where is the truth? Someone once said that the truth is usually found in the middle of two sides. In the case of 9/11, though, the truth is quite simple. America was attacked, brutally, by Islamofascist terrorists. Planes were hijacked and flown into three buildings (and, very nearly, a fourth one). America witnessed this -- in some cases, live on television. The first plane crash was recorded on film. The second one was seen as it happened. The Pentagon crash was witnessed by a number of drivers who saw the plane hit the building. There�s ample evidence to back up EVERY government claim about the attacks that day.

Despite this, lib/dem/soc/commie whackos (see also: base, their) insist that Dubya did it. Yes, this man whom they constantly describe as the dumbest thing on two legs (yes, even though he�s not blond!) somehow coordinated a massive attack on America and the cover-up that followed. He planted physical evidence. He ordered the controlled demolition of buildings (which can take weeks of very noticeable preparation). He ordered missiles to hit the Pentagon, and then magically transformed them into airplane parts. Hell, he even has figured out a way to hide almost 3,000 people for nearly five years.

Note to lib/dem/soc/commies: He is either a total moron or an evil genius. He can�t be both. Make up your freakin� minds already!

The towers fell that terrible day because they were hit by two quarter-million pound objects moving at a few hundred miles an hour, loaded with highly flammable fuel. The fire from the impact weakened the steel infrastructure (it didn�t melt it, and nobody I know ever claimed it did) enough to cause a single floor to collapse. Since it had anywhere from 20 to 40 floors above it, a pancake effect was inevitable. Which is what the world saw that day.

And yet, the lib/dem/soc/commies seem to think that they�re a bunch of Jedi trainees -- �your eyes can deceive you, don�t trust them� -- so they move around blindly, waving around their version of a lightsabre (see also: penknife), without a midi-chlorian in the whole damn bunch. I keep wanting to go to Amazon.com, just so that I can go to the board games section and send them a Clue.

This seems to be their mindset, though. No matter WHAT happens, blame somebody else. America is attacked? Don�t blame Islamofascists; blame Dubya�s conspiratorial genius. Hurricanes hit New Orleans? Don�t blame the weather; blame Dubya and his magical hurricane generator. Souffl� didn�t rise? Lordy, that Dubya�s just causing problems all over the place, ain�t he?

The truth is, we saw the terrible truth that day almost 1,800 days ago. The MANY scientific, forensic and political studies done since then have shown who was responsible -- Islamofascists bent on our destruction. It was not Dubya, not the government, and not some shadowy group of �businessmen� served by a Cigarette-Smoking Man.

So, for all of you political axe-grinders out there, drop this whole 9/11 conspiracy crap, will you? It detracts from the war effort, it emboldens our enemies, and it prevents you from sneaking into Area 51 to look for reverse-engineered alien technology or trying to find Elvis. You know, the important stuff.

About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest.

Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your profile says that you are a policeman. Obviously you never made it to detective. Even the shallowest look at the questions surrounding the official "conspiracy theory" regarding "19 arab terrorists" shows that this story is an utter fable. Too bad you've decided to align with the loonies who believe this buncom.

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